Essays

International Dating

Ruriko Mitsuishi (Faculty of Law, 2nd Year)

Confession is an important step when you start a relationship. However, ways of confessing love is different depending on countries. Nowadays in Japan, texting is becoming a typical way to ask someone out and even for confession. They first exchange numbers and then send a greeting email like, “Hi! It was nice meeting you. Hope to see you soon.” Even if both of them are interested in each other, they will continue to text each other to see how things go. Several weeks later, the guy will ask the girl out and continues to use the cell phone as a tool to express his feelings.

  This must be unbelievable for foreign girls. As far as I know, texting is a common way to ask someone to hang out in the United States, not for confessing love. American guys are affectionate when it comes to showing interest in a girl. When a girl accepts a confession, it must mean that she feels some kind of affection towards them. Since foreign girls are used to aggressive actions, they may be disappointed in Japanese guys. This may be one of the reasons why interracial couples are rare to see. How can Japanese men attract foreign girls?
  I interviewed a Japanese guy that has an American girlfriend who came to Doshisha University as an exchange student. How did you meet your girlfriend? －I met her at the welcoming party. She was sitting alone so I went over to talk to her. How did you make a move? － I asked her out to the movies. Then, I confessed my love to her on the way home. She accepted. What do you usually do on a date? － Go to the movies, zoo, and Internet cafe´. We recently went on a night hike at Mt. Daimonji. What about Internet cafe´? － I wanted to introduce her to Japanese pop culture. So you guys are going to be in a long distance relationship … How do you feel about it? － I think I can handle it. As long as both of us stays busy, we won't have time to feel lonely. Or I can imagine that she's going to the moon. I heard that when an astronaut heads to the moon, they can't come back for at least a year. It's like a long distant relationship. Do you have any advice for Japanese guys? －I think Japanese guys should be more kind to girls. When I went to the U.S., I saw a guy opening the door for a girl at school. I've never seen that in Japan. “Lady's first” is common abroad and the Japanese should learn from it and be gentlemen's too.
  Overall, couples from all over the nation have their difficulties. Japanese guys can change by broadening their viewpoints on love and relationships. So get going guys!